Monday, July 28, 2008

Bleh...

I am so tired.

I have to stop staying up all hours and then expecting to get 4 hours of sleep and end up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning. I’m almost 30 – my body doesn’t work that way anymore.

Of course, work isn’t helping. Mondays are typically slow, but today we are just dead. I’ve played online checkers, updated my MySpace page, drank three cups of coffee (not good) and probably smoked half a pack of cigarettes…also not good.
I rolled out of bed this morning 15 minutes before I had to catch the bus. The clothes from the floor that I wore last night got thrown in the dryer and I was out the door in ten. I’ve been listening to a lot of Misfits and Gein and the Graverobbers, so that was this morning’s soundtrack.

And now I’m at work, checking in porn and reducing the price on a stack of girl-on-girl calendars.

What’s amazing to me is that this is exactly what I imagined my life would be while I was growing up. We were so sheltered as kids, and the outside world always seemed so unattainable – a world I would never be a part of. And yet here I am ten years later, and I grew up to be the adult I always wanted to be.

I may not be cool, but I feel cool. I may not be the greatest-looking guy in the world, but I’ve never been as happy with my looks as I am now. I feel like I’m finally starting to get comfortable with myself…

But then, I’ll probably change my mind by tonight….

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